[CHARLIE, spoken] Okay, I’ve got a lot to get through, and not a lot of time
And I feel like you weren’t hearing me before
So here it goes, ahem
(sung)
I know Hell’s population is out of control
It’s a bad situation, it’s taking a toll
If we rehab these sinners and cleanse all their souls
At my Hazbin Hotel, wait, I’m getting ahead of myself!
Right, extermination
I know you guys fly down just to kill once a year
And it must be annoying to schlep all the way here
If they join you in Heaven, that trip disappears!
You can wave that chore farewell
It’ll be a happy day in He— 

[ADAM] Let me stop you right there 

[CHARLIE, spoken] Oh 

[ADAM] Save us all precious time 

[CHARLIE, spoken] Okay

[ADAM] If what you’re suggesting is letting them climb
Up the ladder oh, they’d rather cross the Pearly Gates? 

[CHARLIE, spoken] Well, um 

[ADAM] Sorry sweetie, but there’s no defyin’ their fates
‘Cause Hell is forever, whether you like it or not
Had their chance to behave better, now they boil in a pot
‘Cause the rules are black and white
There’s no use in tryin’ to fight it
They’re burnin’ for their lives until we kill ’em again 

[CHARLIE, spoken] Okay, but 

[ADAM] Just try to chillax babe, you’re wasting your breath
Did I hear you imply that they don’t deserve death?!
Are they winners? Are they sinners?
‘Cause it’s cut and dry 

[CHARLIE, spoken] Well actually, if you take a look— 

[ADAM] Fair is fair, an eye for an eye 

[ADAM, (ANGELS)] And, when all’s said and done (Said and done)
There’s the question of fun
And for those of us with divine ordainment
Extermination is entertainment!
Bow-now-now-nownow, guitar solo, fuck yeah!
Oh, da-ah-ah now-now-n-now-n-now-n-now-n-nownownow 

[CHARLIE, spoken] Oh my god… 

[ADAM & ANGELS] Hell is forever, whether you like it or not
Had their chance to behave better 

[CHARLIE, spoken] Where did all of you people come from? 

[ADAM & ANGELS] Now they boil in a pot
‘Cause the rules are black and white
There’s no use in tryin’ to fight it
They’re burnin’ for their lives until we kill ’em again

[ADAM] Fuckin’, Hell is forever and it’s meant to suck a lot
So give up your dumb endeavor, ’cause you don’t have a shot
Long as I got your attention
I guess I should probably mention
That we made the determination
To move up the next extermination 

[CHARLIE, spoken] What?! 

[ADAM] Can’t wait a whole year to slaughter those little cunts
I know it’s just been a week, but we’ll be back in six months! 

[CHARLIE, spoken] Um, wait, didn’t you—
Ugh, shit!